sleepless night of a stupid girl

i don't know why but I want to cry

as i lay next to you at night

why won't you touch me, or hold me

why won't you kiss me like you did before

you say yes when I ask if you love me

but you haven't said the words in days

i know I am being silly

i know that it is absurd

i know you love me still

i can see it in your eyes

feel it when you quickly grasp my hand

hear it when you tell me to "be safe" when I must leave you

but it doesn't stop the tears from wanting to fall

from rising up out of a soul that is aching to be touched

every time you let go of me and turn away

every time you say "I promise" then drift away from me

every time I hear your rhythmic breathing mingled with my quickening pulse

every time a fall into dreamless sleep feeling alone

I even wonder now, if you realize I have left your side

a place i wish to stay forever

a place now vacant if only for a time

will you wake up and remember the fears I whispered

will you remember the longing in my voice

the words it pained me to say aloud

the words you fell asleep to

Will you feel me return

will you hold me close

will you tell me that you love me

will you make me forget all that came before